Men's Basketball
The Buckeye Watch
By Tony GerdemanThe Buckeyes are back!
Of course, in the middle of the pack in the Big Ten, “being back” only takes one game. As does “being done”.
Which is why this was such an important game tonight. If the Buckeyes had lost this one, hopelessness and question may have permeated too far into the upholstery to ever get the stink out.
Instead, the Buckeyes fought back from a huge lead (huh?) and eventually won the game going away.
It doesn’t do much to make us feel better about the last three losses, especially since those losses are going to be the death knell in their Tournament seeding. But it’s just nice to know that there is still some life in this team.
It’s also nice to know that we can score in the 70s and only get one made basket from Evan Turner--but let’s not do that anymore, okay?
6:51 I just got home from work. The dogs want to go out and my Chipotle isn’t going to eat itself. Looks like we’ll be catching this game via tape delay.
7:18 Uh oh. I just got a text about the game. I wonder which unknown player is lighting us up right now.
7:40 Okay, let’s get this party started. (I’m a slow eater.) And so help me, it better be a party…
7:41 A win today moves us into a tie for fourth in the conference. A loss puts us in a tie for seventh. This is just like following the Blue Jackets, but without the metric system.
7:42 So P.J. Hill is getting the start tonight, eh? So we’ll start strong, but will Jeremie Simmons provide a spark, or just extinguish it?
7:43 Diebler comes around the curl and nails a three-pointer. As long as he’s getting shots, I like our chances. Even though we’re 0-2 in our last two games and he’s gotten plenty of shots in those games. Of course, I liked our chances in those games as well. I guess there’s no meaning to the number of shots Diebler takes. Maybe some sciency journal can provide us with the data so that we can be sure one way or the other. What’s Ranger Rick up to these days?
7:44 P.J. Hill with a three-pointer! The spark is ablaze! Shield your eyes and breath into this wet towel!
7:45 Jamelle Cornley just debacled P.J. Hill on the screen, but he was standing still so no foul was called. I hope Dallas Lauderdale was watching that.
7:45 P.J. misses a three. Watch the sparks, kid.
7:46 Cornley just hit Evan Turner now. The hometown kid is trying to show out. Does baby need his bottle?
7:48 There’s the quick and smooth baseline jumper from William Buford that’s been missing for awhile now. Nice to see.
7:50 Whoa! Evan Turner just found Buford on the run out and he threw it down! It’s good to see THAT from Buford again as well. The Buckeyes lead 12-2.
7:51 Penn State has thrown up about three air balls already. Don’t worry though, they’ll catch fire soon enough--it‘s their way. They’re about as flammable as your old man’s Brut.
7:52 Jeremie Simmons misses his first three. The spark is dimming. Actually, can sparks dim? And by definition, sparks don’t really last for more than a second or two anyway, so of course they‘re going to go out. Wow, what a bad analogy. I think an ember would be a better analogy because those can stay burning for a while. In fact, basing my knowledge of fire on my many hours spent watching Survivorman and Man vs. Wild, as well as being a boy living out in the country with nothing better to do than burn things, I would say a more apt analogy than “spark” would be “an ember placed in dried animal dung”. Unless we’re talking about a player who keeps providing actual sparks, in which case he would be a “muffler dragger”.
7:52 Cornley travels then gets absolutely smothered by B.J. Mullens. That’s the problem with a 6’5” post player--he has to go up against seven-footers. Or guys who are 6’8”, which is like being seven-foot compared to the wee Cornley.
7:53 Walter Offutt is in as Buford gets an early rest. This is different.
7:54 Evan Turner flips it from one baseline to the other and he finds Diebler for an open three! That’s a 14-0 run by the Buckeyes and the Nits want a timeout. Buckeyes lead 17-2 with 13:00 remaining in the half. The last time the Buckeyes went on a 14-0 run against the Nittany Lions, Malcolm Jenkins was probably involved.
7:57 Cornley gets it swatted by Mullens again! And then B.J. gets it down at the other end and sinks a little jumper. You still have to love Cornley’s effort. He gives hope to every 5’9” post player in America.
7:58 Really, Brent? The Buckeye basketball team has scored more against Penn State than the football team did? This is what you want to contribute to the game tonight? Why not rip the attendance at the game tonight by saying the nearly 90,000 more people went to the football game.
7:59 The Buckeyes lead 19-4. Penn State is going to have to crank it up if they want to score 38 again.
8:00 P.J. and Offutt on the court together? There is not going to be much scoring going on here.
8:01 Penn State has now hit two threes in a row and have gone on an 8-0 run…make it 10-0. The lull in defense has begun. I wonder when it will end. Or IF it will end.
8:02 Evan Turner gets it down low and kicks it out to P.J. who misses a three-pointer. This cannot be our offense. The Buckeyes have the worst-shooting guards in America. The only guy in the backcourt who is comfortable taking a three is Jon Diebler. How is this possible? Shooting is so easy to do. There is no excuse for not being able to shoot from deep.
8:03 And this Babb kid just hit another three. The lead is down to 19-15.
8:04 Babb hits another one. Defense is even easier than shooting, in case you were wondering.
8:05 Buford answers with a three of his own. Finally. Let’s put some gauze over this gaping wound.
8:05 Talor Battle makes a three with a hand in his face. Even when we play defense, they’re still nailing them. Which is probably why we don’t even bother sometimes.
8:08 By the way, those three three-pointers by Babb are a career-high. You probably already assumed that though, didn’t you? I wonder if teams draw straws before the game to see who is going to be “that guy”. The trouble is that sometimes, the straws are all the same length.
8:09 Penn State is leading 25-23, by the way. It’s been a 23-4 run. And I didn’t fast forward once.
8:11 Dallas Lauderdale must be sick of hearing about how he’s disappeared, because he’s already made two or three offensive moves in the game so far. Of course, it’s led to a total of one point, but it’s still nice to see the confidence back.
8:15 Evan Turner just told Jamelle Cornley, “You’re a pitch”. I have no idea what that means. Is it slang?
8:16 Alley oop to Mullens on the out of bounds play and he throws it down! That why it’s nice to have post players who are tall. Throwing an alley oop to post players who are 6’2” can lead to fingers getting tangled in the net, which can cause dislocated fingers or strained knuckles. It is not pretty.
8:17 Jeremie Simmons faked the three, which was a good idea, then decided to shoot it anyway--and made it, which was a terrible idea! The Buckeyes now lead 32-30 with one minute to play in the half.
8:17 William Buford is settling tonight. He’s missed three or four quick threes, and if he would just take one dribble inside the line, he’d be right in his wheelhouse. I’m not sure what’s wrong with him lately. I’ll chalk it up to “The Wall”. I remember during my lackluster times as a freshman, sometimes a good walk around campus would do me wonders. And sometimes it just takes hanging out at the UDF on 12th Avenue asking people to buy you beer to get you out of your funk.
8:18 Back to the game. Penn State is looking for one shot to end the half. And nothing falls. The Buckeyes lead 32-30 at the half. They’ve done it without a single point from Evan Turner, which isn’t too shabby. However, the best way to win this game in the second half is with defense. If the Buckeyes can eliminate the Penn State shooting sprees, then they’ll be fine. The Buckeyes have enough offense to get the win, but they don’t always have enough defense.
8:20 And you know Evan Turner has about 14 points in him in the second half.
8:21 Time to fast forward. My apologies to Jay Williams and his superb halftime analyzing. Now I’ll never find out that the team that scores more usually wins.
8:22 Thad says he’s never seen shots like Penn State is taking and making. Really? Has he missed the last five or six weeks?
8:23 P.J. Hill opens the half for the Buckeyes with a three-pointer! Keep shooting it, P.J.! Keep that hunk of dung smoldering, baby!
8:24 Buford takes another terrible three-pointer. Has he gotten lazy or tired? P.J. Hill gets the offensive rebound and puts it back up and in. The Buckeyes lead 37-32 with 18 minutes to play. I don’t understand Buford’s play tonight.
8:29 Wow. Talor Battle just hit a ridiculous 28-footer for the heck of it. Penn State leads by two. At least make it look realistic, please.
8:31 Uh oh. Talor Battle is talking to Ed Hightower. This can’t be good.
Battle: Eddie, they’re holding me out here!
Hightower: I know, I know. I’m just waiting for my moment.
Battle: Your moment?!
Hightower: Yeah! When a single call from me can swing the entire game one way or the other.
Battle: Why would you do that?
Hightower: I was a drama major at the learning annex and I just want to put on the best show possible.
Battle: Why can’t you just call the freaking game as you see it?
Hightower: Do what now?
8:32 Stanley Pringle sinks his own long-distance fling of complete crap. I’m guessing it’s embedded with embers. “Emberded”? “Emberbedded”?
8:37 Ha ha. Penn State got screwed on an offensive interference call. Hightower was screened by the backboard, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him from making a call. His show must go on! I haven’t seen such attention mongering from an official since Enrico Pollazzo snuck behind the plate of an Angels’ game back in 1988.
8:40 Simmons drains the open three and Ohio State now leads it 48-46! It’s okay if you shoot poorly for the entire game as long as you heat it up at the end, Jeremie.
8:41 Somebody named Morrison or Morrissey just hit a three-pointer. I don’t know who he is, but I can tell you that he’s only as awesome as we make him.
8:42 Jeremie Simmons again! This was from the same spot as the last one. Maybe Simmons has finally found his spot on the baseline. He’s just been shooting too many shots from the top of the key. He needs to stick to the baseline. It’s a good thing we finally got this thing figured out.
8:43 Jamelle Cornley gets fouled. He misses the first. One of his 350 family member says, “That’s okay.” And he misses his second as well. I hope that one was okay too. The last thing we need is 350 angry Cornley’s all under one roof. Imagine the damage that many little people could do? I’m guessing about as much damage as 175 normal-sized people.
8:44 Evan Turner gets the offensive rebound and puts it back up and in! The Buckeyes lead 53-49 with 7:38 to play and the crowd is getting rowdy. Please mind the Cornleys!
8:44 Turner gets it up to Mullens on the run out and he lays it in! Penn State calls a timeout and the crowd is showing the appreciation for the 14-3 Buckeye run. Buckeyes lead 55-49 with 7:07 to play.
8:46 Mullens gets the steal from Battle! (I bet we never say that again.) And Cornley gets called for pushing Evan Turner down. Cornley looks for comfort from his family. They approve of his shenanigans, as most Cornleys do.
8:47 Whoa! Mullens almost just stole it from Battle again. I better be careful with my predictions or else one day I may be proven wrong.
8:48 Madsen gets another rebound. He has been in the game during this entire run while Buford sits and thinks about shot selection. Fortunately, Madsen never has to think about shot selection.
8:49 Ted Valentine is talking to the basketball like he wants to take it home tonight. “You’re with me, Leather.”
8:50 All three officials are joined together talking about something or other while B.J. Mullens stands on the free throw line waiting to shoot free throws. I can only imagine the amount of third-person speak that goes on anytime Valentine and Hightower get together.
8:51 Mullens is finally allowed to shoot. His first is good. And the second is as well! The Buckeyes now lead 57-49 with 5:25 to play. Time for the bullcrap to start.
8:52 Wow. Battle tried, but he threw up an air ball that was reminiscent of a Mike Nugent field goal as a freshman.
8:52 Mullens bobbles the ball a bit but regathers it and scores! The Buckeyes lead by ten now.
8:53 The crowd is taunting Talor Battle. Not sure that’s very smart.
8:53 Here comes the bullcrap. That Morrissey kid just hit a three on the wing. At least we’re not shocked by it anymore. Nobody likes to be surprised by bullcrap. Unless, of course, you need to keep a fire going.
8:54 Cornley fouls Evan Turner again. Jamelle just doesn’t like Evan. I don’t know what it’s like to be jealous of somebody, but I wonder if that’s why Cornley doesn’t like Turner.
8:55 What? Turner just got called for his fourth foul on a reach in. Looked clean to me, but then my homerocity knows no bounds.
8:56 Simmons from his favorite spot again! He should never shoot from anywhere else. In fact, the Buckeyes might want to bring the particular plank of wood that Jeremie has been standing on with them on the road.
8:57 Wow. Pringle answers, cutting the lead to nine for the Buckeyes. Once he pops, he can’t stop. (It’s a jingle, remember? Eh. I bet if his last name was ‘Dorito‘, you‘d remember the references.) Penn State calls a timeout.
8:59 Turner takes Cornley to the hole and Jamelle is forced to foul him because he doesn’t have the foot speed to stay with somebody taller than him. Evan makes both free throws. The Buckeyes lead 66-55 with 2:45 to play.
9:00 This has been a reassuring game. There was so much that was lackluster throughout the game, but it’s good to see them close strong and definitively, rather than just holding on and hoping the opponent doesn’t have enough left in the tank.
9:01 Dagger! Diebler just nailed a three to give the Buckeyes a 70-55 lead. Penn State is going to call it a night. I hope the Cornleys just let the fans leave freely without incident.
9:03 Alan Major just whiffed on a butt pat. Actually, “whiffed” is probably a coincidentally-poor choice of verbs in this instance.
9:04 And there’s your ball game. The Buckeyes win 73-59 and the outcome was never in doubt once the Buckeyes went up by fifteen points with two minutes remaining.
9:06 The Buckeyes only committed six turnovers and got 31 points off the bench. This tells me that Evan Turner was under control tonight--perhaps too much so when you look at his scoring output; it also tells me that Thad Matta’s experiment with P.J. Hill starting works as long as Jeremie Simmons has his best shooting night of the season. Similarly, we also found out that if you want to bench William Buford, Kyle Madsen will capably pick up the slack.
9:08 So now the Buckeyes sit amidst the logjam in fourth place. All they have to do is stay on top of the logs while everybody else falls in and drowns. Yeah, it’s morbid, but you know how much I love lumberjack analogies. Don’t try and change me, baby.
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