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Men's Basketball
The Buckeye Watch
By Tony Gerdeman

Well, you have to give Michigan credit for braving the weather-and their own inadequacies-in coming to Columbus. Not everybody would drive three and a half hours just to get punched in the face.

The Buckeyes locked the Wolverines down in the first half and withstood a mini run--a Michael Hart-like scamper, if you will--in the second half, but Michigan just didn’t have enough. The Buckeyes won 72-54 and never showed any signs of panic or worry.

But then, why would they? They are Michigan and we are Ohio State. Does an iceberg quake at a wave? Does a tree tremble at a squirrel? Does Rey Maualuga shake at the site of a policeman? Of course not. And neither does Ohio State quiver when in the company of Michigan.

We do, however, make sure our wallets and valuables are safe. You just can’t trust weasels.

6:44 I’m a few minutes behind on account of supper, so please bear with me. Of course, if it weren’t for these 6:30 starts, I wouldn’t have to fire through a meal like a hobo at a dog track.

6:45 Apparently students get in free tonight. After having classes canceled today, I’m wondering how many are still conscious right now.

6:49 Looks like a good crowd considering the weather. Props to all those who showed up tonight. I couldn’t even get my car door opened today. I think from now on when there is going to be an ice storm, I’m going to leave one of my doors cracked so as to avoid this situation again. Oh hey, here comes the tip.

6:50 The Buckeyes go right down to Evan Turner in the post and he misses the shot. At least he shot it. Seems like he’s listening to me. There’s a lot of pressure on you when you’ve got the ear of the Buckeyes.

6:51 Turner shoots again. He took it to the basket and got fouled. Anybody else think Turner shoots too much? He makes the first free throw. And the second.

6:52 Big block by Dallas Lauderdale, but they call a goaltend. I’m not sure the ball was gonna get there, but that’s one of those message blocks.

6:52:34 And Dallas just threw down one of those “message dunks”! What was the message? “I hate iron and I’m going to smash it with this rubber ball!”

6:53 There’s a baseline floater from William Buford. I always like it when he starts off with a make. In fact, I like it when everybody starts off with a make.

6:54 Dallas with the steal and Jon Diebler throws it ahead to Buford in traffic and he throws it down! Terrific pass and an even better finish. The Buckeyes lead 8-2 right now.

6:55 We don’t give a damn for the whole state of Michigan…nice.

6:56 Jeremie Simmons goes coast to coast, gets fouled and lays it in! To me, he seems to be such a better player when he incorporates the drive into his game. Especially when the jumper is missing.

6:57 I like how Bowling Green advertises on the Big Ten Network. I think their motto is, “Looking for a fallback school? Give us a call, we’ll take anybody”. (Ha ha…Falcon zing!)

6:59 P.J. Hill is in for Simmons. I’m assuming Jeremie made the free throw, even though it wasn‘t aired. It was only one point. Completely incidental and not worth showing. Like how during the credits of game shows you’ll read something like, “Portions of the program that did not effect the outcome of the contest were not aired”.

7:01 Jon Diebler misses a three. That just means he’s going to hit four in the second half.

7:01 Ooh…nice! Evan Turner drops down a nice crossover and banks in a tall jumper. That’s all kinds of smooth.

7:01 I just got a text from a buddy in Las Vegas, but I can’t check it because I’m behind. Either something really good happened, or something really bad. Or it could just be a Simpsons quote.

7:03 The Buckeyes have gotten two straight steals and fast breaks, but have turned them both over. At this point, just pull those back and find out where everybody is. The Buckeyes lead it 15-4, if you care.

7:05 Mad dog! Evan Turner grabbed the rebound and took it all the way before dropping it off to Kyle Madsen for the lay up.

7:06 Turner just snagged his fourth or fifth steal of the game and got fouled going for the lay up. Anybody else think Turner steals it too much?

7:06 The Buckeyes lead 19-4 with 12:00 to play and they look like they’re having fun. And how could you not? Everybody loves whacking a pinata.

7:07 Michigan is missing three-pointers and the Buckeyes are rebounding the misses!! (Of course they did the same thing in the first half against Michigan State, too.)

7:09 Lauderdale just sent a shot back like an angry woman at TGI Fridays. “Excuse me?!?! I want to speak to your manager!” he yelled.

7:10 The Buckeyes are trying their best to keep up with Michigan’s turnovers. If you’re going to play down to Michigan’s level, you gotta get eye level with the wax on the floor.

7:11 Another turnover. But it’s okay because Michigan just threw it out of bounds. That’s their tenth turnover. They average eleven.

7:13 Evan Turner goes to the basket again, scores and gets fouled! This is what I like to see. Go strong. And he makes the free throw. Buckeyes lead 23-9 with 8:40 to play.

7:14 DeShawn Sims has taken Lauderdale to the rim successfully the last two times down the court. They should try to get a second foul on Sims.

7:14 Ha! They just did! Evan Turner dropped it down to Lauderdale who went up and got grabbed by Sims. But Sims is staying in there. Go at him again!

7:16 Evan Turner again! Spins into the lane and drops the floater. What a freaking ball hog!

7:17 Oh!! William Buford just destroyed a Lucas-Perry lay up attempt. They called the foul, and there probably was contact down low, but he smacked that shot off the backboard like he was playing Whack-A-Wolv.

7:19 At some point Manny Harris is going to start making bullcrap shots. We should probably just prepare for it.

7:19 Jon Diebler sinks a three with a hand in his face! He just doesn’t care who or where the defender is. He is cold and uncaring...like a substitute teacher.

7:20 Michigan misses another three and the Buckeyes get the rebound. I have never seen anything like this!

7:21 Evan Turner with another steal! And then the Buckeyes turn it over. Turner is on pace for a triple-double of some sort tonight.

7:25 Ha! Turner threw an alley oop to Mullens who threw it down…but I think the ball was going in regardless. We’ll take it. Buckeyes lead 30-16 with 2:30 to play.

7:26 Oh! Diebler’s three goes in and out but Mullens is there to slam it home. And then Mullens pins a shot on the backboard. And now he nearly gets another dunk before getting fouled. Jeez dude, let me finish typing! Mullens makes the first, which is good to see. And the second, which is even better.

7:29 Wow! Dallas with a couple of dribbles and then some type of left-handed power fading hook. Buckeyes lead 36-18 with under a minute to play.

7:30 Coach Beilein gets a technical foul! He’s apparently unhappy with his team’s lack of ability. Jeremie Simmons misses both free throws.

7:31 Michigan has the last possession of the half with 11.9 to play. Manny Harris throws up a deep three and it bounces hard over the backboard. That’s the end of the first half and the Buckeyes lead 36-18.

7:34 And through the magic of the DVR, we will fast forward through most of Gene Keady’s analysis and codgeridity.

7:35 If the Buckeyes can just stop turning the ball over, this game is home free. However, Michigan will start shooting the ball in the second half. Teams have a way of making adjustments against the Buckeyes and coming out the better for it. And I expect Manny Harris to be a bit more aggressive in the second half.

7:41 Manny Harris opens the half by taking the ball right to the basket but is fouled before the shot. I expect a whole lot of Manny in the next hour. Many Manny, if you will. (But please don’t.)

7:42 Michigan nails their first three of the game. Laval Lucas-Perry hits it from the baseline. That’s the first of many this half, I promise you.

7:43 Buford answers with his own three from the baseline! I can handle a second-half shootout tonight.

7:44 Now Manny Harris just hit a baseline three-pointer. I am tired of this back-and-forth.

7:44 Dang, Diebler just missed a baseline three. That would have made for good television. Or radio for those of you without the BTN.

7:49 Lucas-Perry with another baseline three. That’s their third of the half. We can’t expect them to miss anymore--we have to make them miss.

7:50 Ha! They finally called Michigan for the hook. This time it was Manny Harris. Good call, ref.

7:54 There’s freaking Zack Novak for three. The lead is down to ten.

7:55 But Evan Turner answers with a lay in from a Diebler assist. Just keep them at a distance.

7:55 Steal by Turner who throws it up to Diebler who throws down the left-handed slam! Buckeyes lead 47-33.

7:56 Now Kelvin Grady just hit a three. This is ridiculous. I was wondering how Michigan beat Duke earlier this year…I think I’m starting to figure it out--hilarious shooting.

7:57 Turner is dribbling the ball like it burns his hands but he somehow drops it off to B.J. Mullens who lays it in. Well, he missed the first one, but then he tipped it back in. He’s padding his rebounding stats right now.

8:01 Whoa! Stu Freaking Douglass just airballed a free throw. I bet we hear more about that as the game goes on.

8:02 B.J. Mullens sinks the hook shot. He is so much more comfortable down there compared to the first month of the season.

8:04 Wow, Michigan double-teamed Mullens and he had no idea there was somebody there. He was so much more comfortable earlier in the season.

8:06 Role reversal! Mullens goes to the baseline and drops it off for Turner who lays it in. That’s 18 points for Turner. And there probably should have been a ticky tack foul on that one too. Buckeyes lead 53-40 with 9:16 remaining.

8:08 Offensive foul by Dallas Lauderdale, but it wasn’t an illegal screen for a change! Michigan has the ball down by 11 points.

8:09 Oh!! Manny Harris just went up to throw down a two-handed dunk but Dallas Lauderdale came out of nowhere and sent Manny back down to earth, basketball and all!

8:16 Jeremie Simmons for three! The Buckeyes needed that one badly. That puts the lead back up to 11 points with 5:47 to play.

8:19 Diebler for three!! There was a little bit of chaos but Turner found an open Diebler on the baseline and it was all over but the pouting. Buckeyes lead 60-48 with 3:44 to play and Michigan calls a timeout.

8:21 DeShawn Sims misses a dunk! Maybe he should’ve shot a three. Or, for those of you from southwestern Ohio, maybe he should’ve “shotten” a three.

8:29 Okay, I admit it. I paused the game for a few minutes to watch some auditions on American Idol. What’re ya gonna do?

8:30 Jeremie Simmons with another three! Wide open look and nothing but net. Buckeyes lead 63-48 with 2:47 to play. I have a good feeling about the outcome of this game.

8:32 Manny Harris drops in the awkward three to cut the lead to 12 points. If it weren’t for awkwardness, Michigan wouldn’t have much at all.

8:35 Novak also drops in the awkward three cut the lead to 11 points. And now the fouling will get ratcheted up. And Jeremie Simmons gets sent to the ground. And he misses the one and one.

8:37 Uh oh. There’s a little ruckus on the court. Or a fracas. Nope, just a ruckus. And not much of one. Wow! Zack Novak elbowed P.J. Hill in the face during a free throw attempt. That’s the cheap shot you expect from the high and mighty Wolverines. And the refs are reviewing it and they will undoubtedly be throwing Novak out of the game. The only question is whether he’ll miss more than just this game. I don’t see why not. Punks need to be punished. The refs are gathering the coaches at midcourt.

8:40 Novak gets a flagrant foul and has been ejected, and rightfully so. See ya Zack. Go throw all the elbows you want in the locker room.

8:41 P.J. makes the first free throw but misses the second. The Buckeyes retain the ball and I’m guessing Beilein will call off the dogs and stop fouling with 1:27 to play.

8:42 Nope. They’re still fouling. Evan Turner goes to the line again. Free throw hog. He makes the first. And the second. Buckeyes lead 70-54 and the crowd goes crazy because they get free fries for the 70 points. What a bunch of mooches. No school, free tickets and now free food. Get a job, you freeloaders!

8:44 And that’s the ball game. The Buckeyes win it 72-54 and Michigan gets sent on their way just as their contractual obligation stipulates.

8:45 So now the students have to decide whether to just call it a night at 8:30 p.m., or try and find something else to do after a win over Michigan. Of course, wins over Michigan are so commonplace that it’s not like you have to go out and celebrate each one. If every Buckeye fan went out and celebrated every win over Michigan, we’d never get anything done around here. It would be like celebrating each and every Tuesday of the week just because it‘s Tuesday. It almost stops being special after a while. I mean it’s always fun, but when it’s the norm, it’s hard for it to also be special.

8:45:44 Unless, of course, it’s football.

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