Men's Basketball
The Buckeye Watch
By Tony GerdemanA great American once said, “I love it when a plan comes together”, and the Buckeye plan for embarrassing the Hoosiers came together quite nicely.
And it wasn’t just one player taking it to the Hoosiers. It was a complete team effort.
Nobody likes it when one bully picks on somebody. But if everybody picks on that somebody, then it’s perfectly okay, because what’re you gonna do?
And that’s what happened to the Hoosiers. Everybody was picking on them.
Jeremie Simmons was shooting threes and dropping dimes. Jon Diebler was hitting threes like they were going out of style, and then once the second half came, they had apparently gone out of style, because he didn’t hit anymore shots after the intermission.
Evan Turner was quiet, but his usual effective self. And William Buford played 37 minutes, scored 19 points and grabbed 7 rebounds. He might just be an offensive player right now, but he’s turning out to be quite effective.
And the Buckeyes’ two-headed center of B.J. Mullens and Dallas Lauderdale combined for 14 points, 14 rebounds and 4 blocks. And several moments of ferocity.
All in all, the past couple of games came at a pretty good time.
If Houston Baptist was just what the doctor ordered, then the Indiana game was the antibiotics.
7:00 Back when I was at Ohio State, the Indiana game was the only guaranteed sellout of the year. People just loved seeing Rick Yudt and Carlos Davis taking it to Bobby Knight.
7:01 Steve Lavin says the Buckeyes need to finish .500 in conference to get into the tournament. I think .500 might be about our best hope right now.
7:02 Jeremie Simmons’s nickname is “A.O.”, which stands for “Automatic Offense”? Hopefully soon he’ll start living up to his nickname, because this season, “A.O.” stands for “Another Offensive (Rebound)” when he’s shooting.
7:04 Somehow Tom Pritchard got the ball against Evan Turner and powered it in. I can’t imagine that would be the wisest matchup throughout the game.
7:04 William Buford nails a three on the wing. They don’t get less indecisive than that guy.
7:04 Nice steal by Simmons and Jon Diebler gets it over to Turner who gets fouled and makes the shot. And you can add the free throw onto that.
7:05 Diebler nails a three from the opposite wing. If Buford and Diebler are hitting their shots, Indiana is in trouble tonight. Even more than they were going to be.
7:07 Dallas Lauderdale is patrolling the paint like an old man who hates it when kids walk in his yard, and so kids walk in his yard just to spite him, which causes him to watch his yard even more hawk-like. However, this old man will come out of his house, run down his porch, grab those punks by their gold chains and plant their faces in the grass and talk to them about the seven different types of weed-eaters he uses on his lawn while asking them how his yard tastes since he got rid of all of the crabgrass.
7:08 The Hoosiers have picked up three fouls on this possession. They seem to be phoning this one in. Get it, “phoning”? Get it? (Because the university hired a proven and known cheater who made a bunch of illegal phone calls to be their head coach and then when he got to Indiana he did the same thing there, which was a total surprise to everybody who is easily surprised.)
7:08 Jeremie Simmons for three at the top of the key. If he starts hitting his shots, then nobody can beat us …as long as we’re always playing the Hoosiers.
7:09 Diebler nails another three. I think that’s 4-4 for the Buckeyes to this point. If we can keep this up, then I’d be comfortable in proclaiming this the greatest offensive performance in the history of sports.
7:11 Jon Diebler gets a blocked shot down low. You don’t take the ball into the paint without knowing where Diebler is at all times. He affects as many shots as he blocks. It’s called The Diebler Effect, and everybody knows about it.
7:11 Simmons misses a deep three at the top of the key. Shameful to be missing shots right now. Nobody else is missing, so why are you?
7:17 Diebler gets his third three-pointer. He’s 3-3 right now. May as well let him keep shooting. I want 40 shots from him tonight.
7:18 Sorry, phone call. Pause.
7:39 Buford for three. If his long game catches up with his middle game, then he may be good enough to leave for the NBA in a couple of months! Buckeyes lead 21-10 with 11:24 left in the first half.
7:43 Simmons for three again! This guy is automatic offense!! The Buckeyes are now 7-8 from three-point land.
7:44 Buford from deep on the wing! These threes are making me thirsty! The Buckeyes lead 27-10 against the mighty Hoosiers!
7:46 Lauderdale swatted Pritchard like a big, slow, white fly…and it leads to a Diebler lay up.
7:48 Diebler to B.J. Mullens for a dunk. I love that guy’s vision.
7:55 Indiana scored! They scored! Nick Williams took it to the basket and made the ball go into the basket by throwing it towards the rim in a shooting motion!
7:55 Simmons hits another three. Automatically. Buckeyes lead 36-14.
7:56 The Hoosiers have hit two consecutive threes to cut the lead to 16 points…but Diebler answers with a three of his own. You like apples, Hoosiers?
7:57 Is Evan Turner in foul trouble? He’s been out of the game for about ten minutes now it seems. Maybe I should be paying better attention, especially since American Idol isn’t even on yet.
7:59 Kyle Madsen with the gorilla dunk! There was nobody in the paint to contest that slam, and it’s a good thing for the Hoosiers because there would have been broken digits and broken spirits. You don’t get in Madsen’s way and expect to come out the better for it. Not ever.
8:01 Diebler again! He’s lighting Indiana up like a big, slow, white fly.
8:01 Indiana is chippy. And they’re trying to get Dallas Lauderdale to respond. Oh, he’ll respond. And you’ll be picking your teeth out of the hardwood when he does.
8:02 Dumes bangs in a three-pointer to make it a 44-28 game with 30 seconds to play in the half. Great job to get it as close as they have considering how much talent they don’t have.
8:03 And that’s the half. The Buckeyes shoot 57% from the field and lead the Hoosiers 44-28. The Buckeyes have a season-high eleven three-pointers? I guess we’ll have to take it.
8:04 Jon Diebler has 17 points at the half. He’ll finish with 20.
8:05 And through the magic of the DVR, let’s skip halftime and get back to the action.
8:06 Buford nails a three on the opposite wing. I just hope he doesn’t fall in love with the three ball because the best part of his game is inside 18 feet.
8:08 Diebler misses a three from the same spot Buford just hit his. Obviously, that is William’s spot.
8:09 Nice lay up by some kid named Jones on the fastbreak, right in Lauderdale’s face. Indiana cuts it to 47-34. They may just get back in it!
8:10 Indiana gets called for traveling. But what else would expect from the RV capital of the world? (Localized humor zing!)
8:11 Wow, this is a sloppy half of basketball. It reminds me of intramurals, except my heart isn’t hurting as much and I probably won’t ice down with a twelver of Bud Light and some pizza.
8:12 No Walter Offutt yet?
8:16 Did David Lighty just say he ain’t seen William Buford shoot so many threes in his life? See! He’s worried too.
8:20 Indiana dribbles the ball off of their feet and out of bounds. Dribbling is fundamental, which is probably why they‘re having so much trouble with it.
8:20 Evan Turner drops it off to Mullens who dunks it on three different Hoosiers. Buckeyes lead 55-37.
8:22 Simmons to Turner to Mullens for another dunk. It’s just dunks and threes right now. Where’s the drama?
8:23 I think maybe Indiana would shoot better if they had a familiar background to shoot against…like a barn or a cow. (Because Ohio countrysides are so much more different.)
8:24 William Buford fakes the three twice, then takes the ball to the hole and rolls it in. Good, I’m glad he still remembers how to drive.
8:25 It’s hard to feel sorry for these Hoosiers when they’re such a bunch of hacking punks. They deserve what they get. The Buckeyes lead 59-41 with 10:00 to play.
8:27 Indiana scores on the inbounds pass! They’ve cut the lead to 17 points. The Buckeyes might want to think about a timeout here. Once the Hoosiers get going, it will be tough to slow them down. Oops, they just threw it away again.
8:29 Aw, and they just threw it away again, again. Momentum can be a tricky mistress. Especially when it’s your uncle. (Please don’t read anything into that.)
8:31 Shot-clock violation for the Hoosiers. I think they got caught watching American Idol like I was. (LOL at Michael Gurr.)
8:35 Jeremie Simmons just got fouled going to the basket? Is that the first time all year?
8:35 Indiana throws it away again and Buford gets the lay up on the break, and gets fouled. He makes the free throw. Buckeyes lead 67-45 with 7:22 to play.
8:37 Diebler blocks another shot! These Hoosiers better recognize who is in charge down low! They don’t call him “Johnny D” for nothing! (But mainly it’s because of his initials.)
8:38 Lauderdale just rejected Tom Pritchard like 99% of the universities in America did.
8:39 Walter Offutt is in. Buford is out. Look for the basket to be attacked like somebody sprayed it with pheromones.
8:40 And there goes Walter, but he somehow had his dunk blocked by some cheating Hoosiers!
8:43 B.J. Mullens misses the dunk on the alley oop. Tom Pritchard needs to show him how it’s done. The Buckeyes lead 72-50 with 3:53 to play.
8:46 Brent Musburger is complaining about drinking alone. However, if it really bothered him, he’d stop.
8:47 I don’t think Diebler has scored yet this half. I need three points from him or else I’m going to look like an idiot!
8:48 Evan Turner fouls out. That was a quiet five fouls. But Indiana has a way of making you play down to their sucky level.
8:49 Pritchard gets the basket and the foul. And the Hoosiers huddle up to talk about how they’re going to overcome this 21-point deficit in the final 1:53. You can tell they aren’t giving up!
8:51 Mullens gets the offensive rebound and powers it back in. He showed some strength there, and ferocity. You must have ferocity!
8:52 Ah, college football talk during a Hoosier game. You gotta love to be part of a program that requires the television people to come up with a lot of filler material.
Brent: Okay, we’ve got the starters down. But I need some information on the races and the lines for the NFL this weekend.
Lavin: Also, if anybody knows what movies are out right now, we could talk about that. When does “LOST” come back? We can talk about that.
Brent: Where’s my beers?
8:53 And there’s another dunk for Mullens. And yes, it had ferocity. Like a lion protecting its cubs…who are also ferocious.
8:54 Hey, that’s the end of the game. The Buckeyes win 77-53 and Jon Diebler finishes with 17 points. I was way off on my prediction at halftime on his scoring total and for that, I apologize.
8:55 Well, any win against the Hoosiers is a good win, especially when it’s a blowout. Indiana was outmatched from the get go and the Buckeyes did them a favor by not letting them think they belonged on the same court with them. It’s that type of honesty and forthrightness that makes your heart glad that you’re a Buckeye fan.
8:56 It’s just a good thing we got a win against Houston Baptist before this game so that our RPI for playing Indiana doesn’t take a huge hit.
8:57 It’s a shame that Kelvin Sampson doesn’t have to stick around for this mess and instead gets to forget it ever happened and go off to the NBA. What kind of punishment is banishment from Hoosier basketball? If you ask me, that’s a reward!
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