Football
The Buckeye Watch
By Tony GerdemanThe Ohio State Buckeyes brought New Mexico State into Columbus and handed them a 45-0 beating the likes of which they totally expected.
The Aggies received $850,000 for playing this game, or $18,888.89 per point given up.
(Ohio State probably should have just agreed to an $18,888.89 per point contract and they could have gotten off much cheaper.)
But everybody got what they wanted--the Aggies got paid, the Buckeyes got a win--though they lost a kicker in the process to an alarming cheapshot.
And now the game is a distant memory, for on the horizon is Penn State.
Sadly, there will be no Anthony Morelli there to comfort us.
But maybe we can convince him to be our Honorary Captain?
10:28 It annoys me when the media says there are no Heisman candidates this season. Just because Tim Tebow and Colt McCoy have struggled this year and Sam Bradford got injured, talking heads think there’s nobody out there. It would be like going to a restaurant and not having somebody automatically bring you food and then you complain that there’s nothing to eat. How about you actually READ THE MENU! There are plenty of options out there, but you might actually have to go and look for them. And yes, I realize this means you may have to scribble out the Tim Tebow that you automatically put on your ballot back in August, but scribbling is what you’re best at.
10:43 It’s 50 degrees with dreadful wind and rain in Columbus right now. It was 80 and sunny yesterday. It’s actually one of the reasons I love living in Ohio, but I hate this type of weather on game day.
11:22 Wow. Nice to see the Gameday boys making fun of the Big Ten and even ESPN’s coverage of it. Herbie says the crowds go and get concessions when they talk about the Big Ten. Too bad the two minutes that they actually DO talk about the Big Ten isn’t even enough time to go and hit the water fountain.
11:55 Glen Mason is doing the game today. I can’t wait to hear how he would have done things differently than Jim Tressel. It’s like he’s still trying to interview for the job when security escorted him out of the building eight years ago. I wouldn’t be surprised if Gene Smith was looking out his office window yesterday and Glen Mason was down on the sidewalk below yelling up towards Smith: “Did you just ask me what I think my biggest flaw is? Well, sometimes I think I work too hard!”
12:00 Kirk Herbstreit says Miami’s attitude will carry them over Wake Forest today. Phil Knight says Oregon’s emotion will win it for them against USC. You’re not going to get in-depth analysis like that anywhere else, folks. ESPN: Making the intangible tangible through sheer repetition!
12:01 Buckeyes won the toss and here comes the kick…Lamaar Thomas gets it at the two-yard line and returns it out to the 21-yard line. Doesn’t look like it’s raining, so that’s nice. I wonder how windy it is down on the field. I think all sideline reporters should have to wear hats with windsocks on them.
12:02 The Buckeyes open in a single back set with three wide. Pryor is going deep right away and he hits Posey for 41 yards down the sideline! Whoa, DeVier knocked somebody down on the sideline just like on NCAA Football. Save those for Michigan, DeVier!
12:03 Brandon Saine gets one yard up the middle. Couldn’t pass two times in a row on first down. That’s against the Constitution.
12:04 Play-action…rolling out and Pryor throws it up for grabs. And Dane Sanzenbacher had it bounce off of his hands amidst a jump ball into double coverage. That was essentially a game of Five Dollars right there. It’s clear that TP has no respect for the Aggie defense because I have to believe he wouldn‘t throw that pass against a normal defense. I have to believe that. I need to believe that. Why won’t you let me believe that!?!
12:05 The Aggies hold and Aaron Pettrey will be attempting a field goal from 52 yards out. Whoa, crazy slice on that one. No good. Glen Mason said there are boos from the Ahia State fans. Thanks, Glen. I knew I could count on you to tell me when people were unhappy with what the Buckeyes were doing.
12:07 Good, I‘m glad the offense failed--defense is more fun anyway. New Mexico State goes three and out rather easily. Geez, come on, defense. What fun is three spins on a merry-go-round? The Aggies punt and Ray Small returns it for 15 yards out to the 30-yard line. There was really nobody down there to tackle him. No wonder they give up 15 yards per return.
12:11 Quick pass to Small out wide and he picks up six yards. I like the quick passes. They’re just extended handoffs and they allow Terrelle to build confidence. I expected to see a lot more of those this season. In fact, Pryor was talking about them quite a bit this summer, saying he was just going to flip it to receivers wide and then let them run with it. I should stop being amazed (or disappointed) in hearing how an offense is GOING TO look as opposed to how it actually ENDS UP looking.
12:12 Yow! Dropped interception as Pryor waited for Posey to get open. Posey slipped and Pryor pumped the ball about twice before actually getting rid of it. That’s even worse than staring a receiver down. He essentially told the defense three different times that he was throwing to Posey…just in case they missed the staredown and first pump, I guess.
12:13. Third and ten. It’s time to pick up the first on a scramble. Yep, here it comes…and Pryor fights and pulls his way to the first-down marker. That didn’t look good. He faked the handoff to nobody, the play broke down and then he had to finally make something happen.
12:14 The offense looks very worrisome. The same struggles we’re accustomed to from Pryor--and against an actual defense, he would have already thrown two interceptions. Of course, you have to wonder if he throws any of these passes against an actual defense. As I said before, I just get the feeling that he has zero respect for the Aggies and therefore thinks he can get away with anything. But there’s no way that can be true. The coaches wouldn’t let him think that way.
12:17 Hmm…no running backs and two tight ends. Pryor gets hit as he throws and the pass falls incomplete. That was an interesting formation. I guess. Jake Stoneburner was flagged as an ineligible receiver, but NMSU declined it. Wow, this offense looks incredibly coordinated today. Like a plaid shirt and whatever doesn’t go with plaid. (I have no idea. Differently-angled plaid?)
12:20 Third and twelve. And Pryor finds Duron Carter underneath on the crossing route. Really? Needing twelve yards and you throw a pass a foot past the line of scrimmage? Glen Mason is almost hoping the crowd starts booing. I think I can hear him booing into his microphone and trying to pass it off as the crowd. [The boos start…then stop] Glen: “Hey, can you hear those boos?” [The boos start against immediately following Glen’s question, then stop] “Wow, they’re really unhappy with Coach Tressel right now--and I can’t blame them!”
12:21 Jon Thoma comes in and booms a 32-yarder.
12:28 The Aggies go six and out. Here comes the punt…it bounces at the five-yard line…and barely rolls into the endzone. That would have been disastrous had it stopped inside the five-yard line. I don’t know if this team would be able to come back from a 2-0 deficit.
12:30 And now Glen is talking about how much better his running game was than Jim Tressel‘s. I can accept that. Glen Mason was an absolute master of the running game. At halftime, Glen is going to go over to Gene Smith’s suite and ask him when he can expect to find out about the job.
12:31 False start Andrew Moses. Welcome to the club, Andrew. Now you get a key to the executive bathroom!
12:32 Third and twelve. Quarterback draw here we come! Pryor drops back, can’t find anybody and takes off with tons of room to run and ends up picking up about 27 yards. Jim Tressel needs to call more broken plays!
12:33 Glen Mason just said “I’m not trying to be critical…” That’s like swinging an axe at somebody and saying, “I’m not trying to hit you with an axe…”
12:36 Third and nine. Whoa! Andrew Moses got beat immediately, but TP stayed on his feet long enough to find Jake Ballard for a first down. Actually, Andy Miller got beat there as well. I hope that was a miscommunication, because the Andrews both let the same guy free. It’s been similar breakdowns which have led to Terrelle Pryor fumbling the ball trying to overcome a missed assignment. This time it worked out. That brings us to the end of the quarter with the Buckeyes and Aggies tied 0-0 in a complete wormfight. (I couldn’t call it a “dogfight”, so I chose an animal that doesn’t fight back. Worm was the least aggressive animal I could think of. You can cut a worm in half and they practically thank you because now their body will only require half of its previous sustenance.)
12:37 There’s really nothing to say. Nothing that wouldn’t need to be censored, anyway. There’s no excuse to struggle on offense like this. We should be able to do whatever we want and it seems we’re still relegated to taking what is given to us. That’s no way to live. That’s the football equivalent of panhandling. “Help is on the way!”
12:40 First and goal. Option right and Pryor walks in. That was easy to see coming, unless you’re New Mexico State apparently. 13 plays, 80 yards. Wow, just more blather from Glen Mason. Disagreeing with the play-by-play guy for complementing Terrelle Pryor. Buckeyes lead 7-0.
12:41 Well, it’s very clear the offense is playing much better in the second quarter than they did in the first quarter.
12:44 Here’s the kickoff…ONSIDE KICK! Holy crap. That is bush league…and I love it. Usually this is something done by wiener teams, not Ohio State. And of course Glen Mason loves it. There was nobody within five yards of Pettrey on that recovery. Perfect execution. I’m guessing the Aggie coaches were never expecting that.
12:47 Pryor rolls out…scrambles a bit and throws it deep to a semi-open Posey and both he and the defender fall to the ground. Flags on the play. Pass interference on the defense. Glen Mason says the refs got the call wrong. Even Dan Fouts is blushing right now.
12:48 Pryor gives a token play-action and fires the ball over the middle…Touchdown to Dane Sanzenbacher on the skinny post! Great throw. Not even Mason can rip that. Oops…Glen just said Pryor’s struggling. My bad. Buckeyes lead 14-0.
12:49 Yep, much better this quarter than last.
12:52 I just saw a commercial for the Big Ten Network show “Behind the Schemes“. Jim Tressel says it‘s like having our playbook in high definition. Seems like a waste of 1080p if you ask me.
12:53 Interception by Ross Homan! That pass was thrown right into Anderson Russell’s arms, then bounced into the tight end’s hands, then Ross Homan said “ENOUGH! Give me that freaking thing! I’m keeping this!” Like an old man with a fenced-in yard tired of balls coming onto his property. Lousy no-good kids!
12:54 Brandon Saine fumbles and New Mexico State recovers. It might be time for Jordan Hall to get the bulk of the carries for a while. He’s been more effective today anyway.
12:56 The give is to Seth Smith, who gets stopped for no gain because John Simon has instituted a run embargo on the New Mexico State offense.
12:57 Fumble! Quarterback Jeff Fleming got pressured and I think it was Nathan Williams who forced it and somehow Thaddeus Gibson came up with the ball when there were two Aggies laying on top of it. Maybe it was just intimidation. Thaddeus probably didn’t even have to fight for it. Remember in “Teen Wolf” when Teen Wolf went into the liquor store to buy a keg of beer and the clerk was giving him a hard time until he simply said in his wolf voice “Give me…a keg…of beer.” And the clerk went running back to get him his keg as fast as he could? I’m guessing Thaddeus used his wolf voice.
12:58 New Mexico State calls a timeout as everybody is still trying to recover from Thaddeus’ wolf voice.
1:01 The Buckeyes gets stymied again and Aaron Pettrey will try yet another 52-yard field goal. No good. He left it short and hooked it a bit. My kicker is struggling from 52 yards out today. Still, I guess it’s nice to have a kicker that surprises you when he misses from 52-yards away.
1:05 Whoa, I just lost the game due to an Issue 3 commercial. I’m switching to radio now and Doug Worthington just tackled somebody. Now we’re getting some type of car commercial. I think it’s third and 18 now per Paul Keels. Absotively. Ross Homan tackled the quarterback apparently. It was probably awesome. Now I’m getting another car commercial. Lexus, it looks like. Yep, Lexus. And as a form of protest, I will never buy a Lexus now. You just lost yourself a future customer, Lexus! (Wayyyyy future.)
1:07 We’re back and the Aggie punt lands at the 30-yard line for the Buckeyes.
1:08 Here’s that no back, two tight formation again. Pryor scrambles, breaks loose and is running free until he gets horse collared at the Aggie 38-yard line. If the defender doesn’t get a hand on Pryor’s jersey, I think he’s gone.
1:09 Again. Two tights, no backs. Quarterback draw…loses four yards. This has to stop. I think if I wrote a letter to Jim Tressel about the quarterback draws, it would probably look a lot like this: “Dear Coach Tressel, I’m not sure how often you watch Buckeye games; but if you did watch them, you would probably notice that we run quarterback draws about as well as Michigan defends them. Why is this play called so often, yet it seldom yields anything positive? Is it a union thing? A false start would be a better choice of play calls than a quarterback draw, and since we know you have no problem calling the false start play, maybe you’d rather call that from now on instead of a down-wasting quarterback draw. Anyway, just some food for thought. Thanks for taking the time to have somebody read this for you and never bring it to your attention. Your friend, Tony.”
1:10 Reverse to DeVier Posey who throws a touchdown pass to Dane Sanzenbacher! Wow! What a throw, and people all over Buckeye Nation are now saying, “I wish Pryor could throw the ball like that.” The Buckeyes now lead 21-0. I know it doesn’t really count, but Posey has now been responsible for a touchdown in five straight games. Wow, they just showed the replay, and Pryor was running a wheel route on that one. Posey could have thrown it to him as well. Too bad Posey ALWAYS locks in on Sanzo.
1:12 People will probably ask why we’re seeing reverse passes and onside kicks against the likes of New Mexico State. It’s simple: we run them so that Penn State, Iowa and Michigan have to prepare for them. Well, not so much Michigan…but you get the idea.
1:13 Uh oh. Aaron Pettrey is down on the field. He’s in pain right now. The right leg. That’s his hooking leg! This sucks. We just got Devin Barclay back and it‘s probably a very fortunate thing.
1:15 Wow! They just showed how Pettrey got injured. The NMSU dude went right after his knee. What a blatant cheapshot! I assume that’s what the Aggie coaches wanted him to do because why else would he target a kicker LOW like that? Ridiculous. Ohio State should cancel the check they wrote to New Mexico State.
1:16 Seriously? Glen Mason just said “You gotta be impressed with the Aggie offense…” Yet, the team winning 21-0 is terrible. He’s like the Bobby Heenan of the Big Ten Network.
1:17 New Mexico State punts. Ray Small runs up to get it and nearly breaks it, returning it to the 47-yard line. And Glen chimes in with “I’m impressed with the New Mexico State kicking game too…” as Ray nearly breaks it--and you just saw a dude on special teams take out our kicker. What a flippin’ idiot.
1:19 Quick pass to Sanzo for eight yards. I really like the quick passes today--and the accuracy. This is how all passing teams move the ball, and it’s good to see that we’re getting closer to being one of those teams.
1:20 No backs, two tight ends again. Pryor is under pressure and he’s forced to scramble, picking up five yards. That’s about four times with that formation and it has led to a scramble each time. Hmmm…maybe we should call it more often.
1:23 The report on Aaron Pettrey is that it’s a knee sprain and he’s doubtful to return today. And classy Glen Mason laughs about Pettrey being “doubtful”. Whoa! Another near interception by Pryor. Come on, man. Pass interference on the Aggies and Glen isn’t going to like that.
1:25 First and goal from the three-yard line. Speed option…Pryor pitches it to Brandon Saine and he cuts back inside for the easy touchdown. I believe that’s his first touchdown on the season. Here comes Devin Barclay for the extra point…no problems…right down the middle. Buckeyes lead 28-0. We are second quarter U!
1:29 New Mexico State takes a snap and that brings us to the end of the first half. The Buckeyes lead it 28-0. The Buckeyes have 305 yards of total offense right now. But why have they seemed so begrudging?
1:37 After seeing what happened to Pettrey, all I want out of this half is a running clock and zero injuries. This is going to be about the fastest half ever, so I hope you’re not expecting a bunch of fireworks. At least I hope there aren’t a bunch of fireworks.
1:45 I don’t really have much else to say. I hope that’s okay. I’m disappointed that we can’t run the ball better via actual called plays. We seemed to have regressed in that area, but with how injured the offensive line and running backs have been, it probably shouldn’t really be a surprise. However, people are going to have to get awfully healthy awfully quick because next week is no joke.
1:50 The Buckeyes ran 48 plays in the first half. I wouldn’t be surprised if that was a Jim Tressel record at Ohio State. In fact, we could probably go three and out the rest of the game and this would finish somewhere in his top ten.
1:52 Devin Barclay’s kickoff goes three yards deep and is returned out to the 15-yard line. Big leg by Barclay. We just need to make sure the field goals are straight.
1:54 The Aggies go three and out. The punt rolls out of bounds at the Ohio State 42-yard line.
1:55 Joe Bauserman is in. Is Pryor hurt? He was kneeling down late in the second quarter. Obviously if he is, it wasn’t that bad. Maybe just bad enough to keep him off the field against a team full of cheapshotters. Ray Small gets the jet sweep and runs it out to the 35-yard line! Another play we’ll never see in a game that matters that would be awesome to see in a game that matters.
1:57 This is going to be interesting. The Buckeyes get stopped at the Aggie 30-yard line and we’re going to see Devin Barclay take a shot at a 47-yard field goal…he hooked it. It was long enough, so at least that part was good.
2:02 Three and out again. I’m not sure the defense is even breaking a sweat. The punt is low and short. It goes out of bounds at the 26-yard line.
2:04 At what point do we see Jermil Martin? Are we going to have to have the crowd ask for him?
2:06 Jordan Hall gets 18 yards right up the middle. Can I say that I love his wiggle? Is it okay for a man to love another man’s wiggle? And what if he’s only 18?
2:07 Counter to Jordan Hall and he scoots on down the field for 39 yards down to the 16-yard line. I would love to see what he could do with 25 touches in a game. Or even 15. Get him involved more, please.
2:09 Third and five and Joe Bauserman throws it incomplete to Boom Herron in the flats. This gives Barclay another chance. This is from 29 yards out and I have no doubts…He nails it. The Buckeyes lead 31-0.
2:15 New Mexico State goes three and out again. And believe me, if there was anything exciting to report, I’d report it. However, terrible offense and great defense doesn’t usually lend itself to anything other than mass two-yard gains. The Aggies punt.
2:18 Third and twelve and Bauserman gets sacked. Can we just call the rest of the game? Thoma punts and it’s fair caught at the twelve-yard line.
2:21 Fumble! It gets kicked around in the endzone and Brian Rolle comes up with it for the touchdown! Hmm…I said the offense, defense and special teams would outscore the Aggies today, and so far that prediction is looking pretty good. I love it when a prediction comes together. Buckeyes lead 38-0.
2:24 Now Glen Mason is criticizing Jim Tressel for having Terrelle Pryor out of uniform. Could you GET any pettier? Next thing we’ll hear is “And WHAT’S with that haircut!”
2:25 Third and four. Shovel pass batted down by Lawrence Wilson. Time to punt. And Glen Mason is still going off on Jim Tressel for his audacity in having TP out of uniform. Is this really impacting the team? Gosh, I hope the media on hand gets the scoop on this one and doesn’t let Tressel off the hook for this egregiousness. Rake him over the coals, Boys! Let him have it! He has a player out of uniform! What’s next, free guns for all freshmen!!!
2:27 Punt…Ray Small muffs it, but Travis Howard recovers. Ray was reaching for it instead of getting under it. Just a lack of concentration…which isn’t unusual.
2:30 Boom is gone. He just zipped up the middle for a 53-yard touchdown. It looked like a run you would normally see from the Buckeyes against the Wolverines. There was nobody on defense. Where did everybody go? Eleven against six is never going to be a winning defense. Buckeyes lead 45-0.
2:36 Glen says at this point in the game, he’d be emptying the bench. Uh Glen, the bench has been emptied all half. Pay attention--it‘s good for you.
2:37 Third down. Sack by Lawrence Wilson. Always good to see him get in there. And now Glen is talking like Wilson is a ninth-team walk-on. New Mexico State punts to Duron Carter who gets a nice 20-yard return, but it will come back due to some illegal blocking and such.
2:39 Queso…I need queso!! (I don’t really, but I could never turn it down. Maybe “Queso…I wouldn’t turn down queso!” would be more fitting. Of course, then you sort of lose the urgency that the entire commercial is based upon. That’s why I’m not an ad wizard, I guess.)
2:43 Bauserman is going deep down the sideline…and he finds Duron Carter for about 36 yards down to the Aggie 24-yard line. That was a nice little flip down the field by Bauserman.
2:44 Third and four. Bauserman is going into the endzone…and it‘s another incompletion via a miscommunication. Time for Devin Barclay to get another crack, which he absolutely needs. This one is from 36 yards out…no good. Didn’t quite hook it enough this time, which is surprising.
2:47 Third and seven for the Aggies. Draw. Nothing. Can’t both coaches just agree to call the game at this point? Or are they too riveted by the action?
2:48 Duron is back to receive…Wow! Fumbled snap…the punter recovers and still gets a rugby kick off for 67 yards! Best play of the day for the Aggies. When DeWayne Walker shows highlights for his coach’s show, this will be the only play they show. “And now to the highlights…here’s Kyle Hughes booting one 67 yards…” And roll credits.
2:53 Going deep…Bauserman’s got Duron again…he’s falling down near the sideline and still has the wherewithal to haul it in 40 yards down field! Great catch. And he got a knee down.
2:56 Fourth and five and the Buckeyes are going for it here. False start on Josh Kerr. That’s only our second on the day. That might be a record! I’d punt it now to protect the shutout and reward the defense.
3:00 Sweet, we’re punting. Wow, never thought I’d say that. Remarkably ugly 24-yard punt by Thoma, as it goes out of bounds at the 17-yard line. Having such punting under JT is like having a wing of paint-by-numbers in the Louvre.
3:02 Awesome! They’re interviewing Buck-I Guy. “So, how long have you been a doosh?” Actually, it’s probably time to accept the inevitable: he’s going to have his own studio show soon.
3:04 The Aggies punt again. I’m getting carpal tunnel from repetitively typing the word “punt”. I need to record a macro.
3:07 Glen Mason knows the words to Script Ohio? Aren’t the words “Da da da da da da da da da…da da da da da da da da da da da…” I think the only real words in Script Ohio is the actual script “Ohio“. So maybe once the “i” is dotted, that’s when Glen shouts out “Ohio!” to indicate he “knows the words”?
3:07 I thought the clock was going to run out after the last carry by Joe Gantz, but there’s still four seconds remaining in the game. It’s fourth down, so after the Jon Thoma punt there were still be two seconds remaining.
3:08 Check that--no punt. K.C. Christian gets the carry and “Oh, the time has come”… (No, I wasn’t going to go the entire fourth quarter without a Night Ranger reference if the opportunity arose.) Ballgame. Buckeyes win 45-0 with their third shutout of the season. And their most stifling. And heartless. And mean.
3:10 The Buckeyes did exactly what they were supposed to do in this game--destroy the Aggies and leave no overall unbuckled. But it was essentially a spring game and there isn’t a whole lot to take from it. I think it’s good that Boom Herron looked healthy, but he still only really had one good run--albeit a VERY good run. The consistency still isn’t there from the Buckeyes top two running backs. And Jordan Hall had quite a few three-yard runs until he broke a few. But, as Terrelle Pryor’s passing improves, it will become easier to run. Teams will continue to gamble that the Buckeyes won’t beat them with a designed passing game. And right now, it almost looks like they’re playing with House money.
3:11 I don’t even want to think about how many interceptions a great defense would have had against the Buckeyes today. Instead, I’ll choose to think of the false sense of security the Ohio State defense got from shutting out such an insultingly bad offensive football team.
3:11:37 Actually, neither of those thoughts really make me feel all that great.
3:12 I should probably just move on. This game is dead and gone. It is now officially Penn State Week. And, likewise, in Happy Valley, it’s Ohio State Week--which means toilets get a one-week break and sales of Ziploc go up 1,200 percent.
3:13 Yes, I know I also just described Homecoming in Ann Arbor.
10 Things We Learned About the Buckeyes
Help us bring you more Buckeye coverage. Donate to the-Ozone.
Click here to email this the-Ozone feature to a friend...or even a foe.
Return to the-OZone Front Page
(c) 2009 The O-Zone, O-Zone Communications, Inc. All rights reserved.
This material may not be published, rebroadcast,rewritten, or redistributed.