Football
Tom's Tip Sheet (sans Tom)
By Tony Gerdeman

There are a lot of good games this week, and the weekend gets kicked off on Thursday with Louisville at Rutgers.

Of course, the weekend then takes Friday off.

But then it's back to work on Saturday.

There are some division championships that could be fairly wrapped up this weekend.

And there are some glass slippers that are going to be shattered like dreams made of...glass that you...wear on your feet. (I'm tired, leave me alone.)

Just looking at the slate of games this week, I'm kind of upset that they couldn't split up the 3:30 games some. I was thinking about writing a letter, but my letter-writing history is less than glowing. I think the only reply I've ever gotten was from a Dirk Benedict in Pennsylvania telling me that he's not "that Dirk Benedict".

Oh well, it was the only way I would know for sure. I didn't want to make the drive without knowing.

Anyway, enough about my letters. Let's get to the Tip Sheet.

Thursday November 9

Teams: Louisville at Rutgers
Time (TV): 7:30 pm (ESPN)
Interest: 5
Cheer For: Depends

Let's go on the assumption that the Buckeyes beat Northwestern and Michigan. Would you rather play Louisville, or a one-loss SEC team? Or Texas again? So you can decide on your own who you'd rather play. As for this game, it will be the biggest thing to hit New Jersey since they started putting a "Do Not Drink" warning on nail polish remover. And let's not forget about what happened to Louisville last year when they went to South Florida. USF didn't do anything spectacular, but they played defense and capitalized on every single one of Louisville's turnovers. Louisville is more than capable of losing this one. In fact...well, let me go pick some other games and think about this one some more, I don't want to pick Rutgers just yet...okay...I'm back. I honestly don't know how Rutgers is going to score enough. I think they'll have to score 34 to win. I don't think they can.

Friday November 10

Teams: UTEP at UAB
Time (TV): 8:00 pm (ESPN2)
Interest: No thanks, I'm driving.
Cheer For: UTEP

Why UTEP? Because UTEP played Texas Tech who played Texas, who lost to us. Duh.

Saturday November 11

Teams: Wisconsin at Iowa
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (ESPN)
Interest: 4
Cheer For: Wisconsin

Wait, if we're cheering for UTEP above because of common opponents' opponents, why wouldn't we cheer for Iowa here? Because the Hawkeyes are losers, that's why. Plus, there's no hope for them and our BCS numbers are just fine right now. Besides, it makes the Big Ten look stronger when they've got two undefeated teams and a team with one loss. And let's not forget, Iowa scored seven points last week at home against Northwestern. They don't deserve our support. In that game, the flappable Drew Tate threw two interceptions and the Hawkeye defense gave up 169 yards rushing to Tyrell Sutton. Wisconsin's defense will shut down Tater and Co. and then run all over the Hawkeyes. Wisconsin by ten.

Teams: Cincinnati at West Virginia
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (ESPN2)
Interest: 3.5
Cheer For: Cincinnati

Mark Dantonio will keep the Bearcats in it as much as possible, but the Mountaineers will pull away late in the third quarter. Cincinnati will do it with defense and ball control, and they'll be able to move the ball and score. However, this game will swing on a couple of consecutive big plays by the West Virginia offense in the second half. Their lead at that point will be seventeen or so, and it'll be over at that time. Dantonio came out this week and said he has not been considered for the Michigan State job and he's committed to the Bearcats. Good. I don't want him in the Big Ten.

Teams: Georgia Tech at North Carolina
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (LF/GP)
Interest: 2
Cheer For: North Carolina

With a win in this game, Georgia Tech pretty much wraps up the Coastal Division (they only have Duke after UNC). However, they can't overlook the Tar Heels. UNC showed some life last week scoring 26 points against Notre Dame. Not everybody can do that. Georgia Tech could only manage ten points against the Irish back in September. Eh, forget it. North Carolina has no shot. They are terrible and their coach could give a crap anymore. He's busy submitting applications for Applebee's commercials.

Teams: Minnesota at Michigan State
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (ESPNU)
Interest: 4.5
Cheer For: Minnesota

I don't mind rooting for Glen Mason. I'd like to see him get to a bowl game this season, especially after their terrible start. The Gophers are two wins away from bowl eligibility, and if they can get past Michigan State, they get Iowa at home. Things don't look too bad for Minnesota. I was shocked by what the Gophers did last week to Indiana. Bryan Cupito threw the ball all over the place. Expect the same thing this week. If Michigan State hasn't completely given up on the season, which they may have, this one is going to be a shoot out.

Teams: Purdue at Illinois
Time (TV): 12:00 pm (GP)
Interest: 3.5
Cheer For: Illinois

I'm interested to see this one just to see what Illinois' defense looks like this week. If Purdue starts throwing all over the Illini, Buckeye fans won't be happy. If you're aware of Zook's history, even if the Illini had won last week, they'd still lose this week. Book it. Mark it down. Cuneiform it and throw that sucker in a kiln. It has nothing do with Purdue versus Illinois, it has everything to do with Zook being the Jack Tripper of coaches. Zook will find some way to schedule a date with two women at the same time the game is going on. He'll spend the first quarter coaching, then "excuse himself to the bathroom", then he'll meet up with Veronica at a tailgate. After shoe-horning two bratwurst and kraut, he'll "make a beer run" and stop by Lucille's tailgate and pound four beers and three jell-o shots. Then he'll tell Lucille that he "has grape jell-o in the car, and you won't believe the grape shooter!" It's at this point that he'll head back to the locker room to give the halftime speech. As he's giving the speech, the team will suddenly grow quiet and look behind Zook. Zook will turn around and see Veronica and Lucille staring daggers through him. Veronica will dump a full beer bong on Zook's head, saying "Beer run, my foot!" Lucille will then dump unsolidified gelatin on Zook and say, "You can keep your grape shooters, jerk!" And then Larry Dallas will walk out with both Veronica and Lucille.

Teams: Georgia at Auburn
Time (TV): 12:30 pm (LF/GP)
Interest: 3.5
Cheer For: Georgia

There aren't many sure things in college football this season. This game, however, is one of them. It's Senior Day for the Tigers and Auburn is going to hammer Georgia. The score may only be 17-7, but Georgia will never threaten in this game. Remember how your dad or your older brother would race you and let you stay in it for a while, then beat you to the finish line, then hit you with a shovel until you cried and your mom had to come save you? Kenny Irons is the shovel, and the clock is Georgia's mom.

Teams: Nebraska at Texas A&M
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (ABC/GP)
Interest: 3.5
Cheer For: Texas A&M

The Aggies' two losses have come by a total of five points. Deservedly so, in my opinion. I'm tired of picking Nebraska, so I'm going to go with A&M on this one. They are going to pound the Huskers with Jorvorski Lane, and change it up with Mike Goodson (who averages seven yards per carry). Then they'll make timely passes with Stephen McGee. And if you concentrate too much on the tailbacks, McGee will run for 80 yards on you pretty easily.

Teams: Miami at Maryland
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (ABC/GP)
Interest: 2.5
Cheer For: Maryland

After the tragic shooting of Hurricane lineman Bryan Pata, there was discussion if this game was even going to be played. As of this writing, the game is still on. Maryland could go to 8-2 with a victory. They control their own destiny. If they win out, they'll play in the ACC Championship Game. If that happens, the ACC will have officially put a leather jacket on, thrown on some shorts, went up a ramp on their water-skis and jumped a pit with an actual live shark in it. However, if Wake Forest gets there, the ACC will have officially thrown on a leather jacket, gotten on their motorcycle and tried to jump a slew of 50-gallon drums, crashing in the process. And if Boston College gets there, the ACC will have officially put on a leather jacket, gone to a dude ranch for some reason with Laverne and Shirley and stopped a runaway stagecoach with Joanie helpless to do anything.

Teams: South Carolina at Florida
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (CBS)
Interest: 5
Cheer For: The Ol' Ballcoach

Actually, this is another one of those "who would you rather play" scenarios when deciding who to root for. If you want no part of Florida, then root for South Carolina. This is Steve Spurrier's first trip back to The Swamp as the enemy. He beat Florida last year at home, and you know he will pull out every thing he's got for this game. South Carolina doesn't have the talent to win in Gainesville, but I definitely think some noise will be made. Florida will have trouble scoring enough points to pull away. Their high-point total in an SEC game is 28 points. If they can't do better than that, the Gamecocks will be in it until the final gun.

Teams: Temple at Penn State
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (GP)
Interest: Less than none
Cheer For: Temple

C'mon, you'd love to see Penn State lose this one. Conference affiliation can only be so strong. After Joe Pa broke his leg last week, he's been relegated to the coaches' box upstairs. I wonder how the team is going to do without his instant in-game adjustments on the field. Or his on-the-fly play-calling. The team will be like a bull without a rodeo clown. They will be lost and confused and won't know where to turn for mentoring. Although, think how funny it would be to see him in his Rascal, speeding around at a brisk 2 mph...watching him get stuck on a peanut under the front wheel.

Joe Pa: Ehhh...uhhh...ehhhh...little help.

Passersby: (Ignoring him.)

Joe Pa: Ehhhhh...I said...ehhh...little help!!

Passersby: (Ignoring him and taking a wide stride around him.)

Joe Pa: (Hammers the horn.) "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP"

Security: Coach, is there something I can do for you?

Joe Pa: Ahhh...ehhh...I gotta pea...ehhh...peanut...ahhh...under the...ehhh wheel.

Security: I'm sorry, did you say you have to pee? (On walkie talkie) Um, HQ this is Tom up in the Crow's Nest, we've got a Code Yellow! I repeat, a Code Yellow!

HQ: Again? Better than a Code Brown, I guess. We'll send up the towels.

Teams: Michigan at Indiana
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (ESPN)
Interest: 5
Cheer For: Michigan

We're almost one week away. One week from the biggest game in the history of hyperbole! Ever! And I can't wait to see what Kellen Lewis does against Michigan. I don't think Indiana's going to win. And I know they aren't going to run the ball. But it will be interesting to see what type of success Lewis has on this defense. The Hoosier defense, however, is in trouble. Michael Hart is looking unstoppable (for him) right now. And Brandon Minor and Jerome Jackson are looking like contributors. Don't be surprised to see Michigan approach 300 rushing yards. Mario Manningham came back last week and Chad Henne looked to throw deep to him on about three plays. However, Manningham was blanketed each time. Was it just good coverage, or is Manningham not yet effective? Watch on Saturday to see if that question gets answered.

Teams: Notre Dame at Air Force
Time (TV): 4:00 pm (CSTV)
Interest: 3.5
Cheer For: Air Force

Remember a couple of weeks ago when we were saying, "Man, if Navy just had a healthy quarterback, they could give Notre Dame a run." Well, Air Force is the poor man's Navy, and their quarterback is healthy. And what a quarterback he is! You all know he beat out Troy Smith in high school before Smith transferred to Glenville, right? And if he's better than Troy Smith, just imagine what Carney is going to do to this Irish defense. Actually, if Notre Dame can hold Air Force under 28, they should consider it a relatively above-average night for them. I'm assuming it'll be something like 45-28 Irish with Brady Quinn throwing two fourth-quarter touchdown passes, giving him five on the day. And, if Irish fans are lucky, they may even get to see some rushing yards from their team this week!

Teams: Tennessee at Arkansas
Time (TV): 7:00 pm (ESPN2)
Interest: 5
Cheer For: Arkansas

I say cheer for Arkansas because it's a heck of a story. They're still fighting for a spot in the National Championship game and if they finish with wins over Tennessee, LSU and Florida, who's to say they don't deserve it? Well, maybe a one-loss USC team that beat the Razorbacks 50-14 in Fayetteville, but who remembers that? The Hogs are winning despite some quarterback shuffling. Of course, the running game is to thank for that. Darren McFadden has rushed for 1,038 yards this season, averaging 6.2 yards per carry. The change-of-pace back, Felix Jones, has 714 yards on half as many carries as McFadden. Jones is averaging 8.1 yards per carry. The Arkansas defense is still suspect, so the Razorbacks are going to have to score. Being that this is a night game in the SEC, it's hard to go against the home team. Especially with the quarterback issues, arrests and suspensions the Vols suffered this week. Still, I've got a feeling the Vols will pull this one out somehow. But I'm still picking the Razorbacks. For now...

Teams: Texas Tech at Oklahoma
Time (TV): 7:00 pm (FSN)
Interest: 4
Cheer For: Oklahoma

The Sooners have won three straight since Adrian Peterson's injury. Two of those wins were on the road against ranked opponents. However, they were Big XII opponents, so don't get too excited. I'd love to take Texas Tech in this one, but you never know when they're going to have a performance like they did a few weeks ago against Colorado, when they scored six points and gave the Buffaloes their lone win this season. Then I'm also torn because the Sooners are due for a fall. If Tech gets out to a 21-0 lead on Oklahoma like they did on Texas a couple of weeks ago, the Sooners won't be able to come back. To avoid that, they'll grind it out with Adrian Peterson's backup Allen Patrick. Patrick is averaging 34 carries and 147 yards rushing in the Sooners' last three games. He has increased his rushing total each week and, mathematically, is on pace for about 210 yards this week. Sooners by ten-ish.

Teams: Alabama at LSU
Time (TV): 7:45 (ESPN)
Interest: 2
Cheer For: LSU

This is an interesting game in name only. Alabama lost at home to Mississippi State last week. They should have to give up their squirrel pelts for a performance like that. LSU should shut out the Tide, but Alabama will get a fluke drive or turnover and kick a field goal. They'll lose 24-3. I guarantee that score. Print it out and put it on your bathroom mirror as a reminder. Right next to your post-it that says "Good morning, Handsome!".

Teams: Wake Forest at Florida State
Time (TV): 8:00 pm (ABC/GP)
Interest: 4
Cheer For: Wake Forest

Wake Forest is America's team--America just doesn't know it yet. Remember Northwestern back in 1995 when they came out of nowhere and won the Big Ten? Well, Wake Forest isn't going to win the ACC, but they are very reminiscent. I think I said last week that Wake would lose their last four. I was wrong, because they beat Boston College last week. They host Virginia Tech next week and then travel to Maryland. If they can somehow beat Florida State or Virginia Tech, then they'll be playing at Maryland for the Atlantic Division Championship and a spot in the ACC Championship Game. That being said, Wake Forest won't win another regular season game from here on out. (Apparently, I'm not aware they're America's team either.)

Teams: Texas at Kansas State
Time (TV): 8:00 pm (ABC/GP)
Interest: 2.5
Cheer For: Texas

Kansas State is terrible, and they're bowl eligible. Thank you Big XII. And they're still technically alive for the Big XII North championship. But that will end this week against Colt McCoy and the Longhorns. McCoy is currently second in the nation in passing efficiency. In his last four games, McCoy is completing 69% of his passes, averaging 274 yards passing per game. He's thrown fifteen touchdowns and only two interceptions in that span. Missouri scored 41 against Kansas State, so expect Texas to do the same.

Teams: Oregon at Southern California
Time (TV): 10:15 (FSN)
Interest: 5
Cheer For: Oregon

Why are we cheering for Oregon? Because we don't like Pete Carroll, remember? Plus we think it would be funny if USC lost this week and next and then drilled Notre Dame. Dennis Dixon, the Ducks' quarterback, has come back down to earth lately, but he's still dangerous. As is running back Jonathan Stewart. When he's healthy (about 40% of the time), he's one of the top three backs in the conference. USC pounded Stanford last week, to put an end to sluggish month or so. Of course, pounding Stanford is pretty easy to do. Oregon will keep bringing it at USC and USC will have to play a complete game, or they will lose. Oregon is 7-0 when a Duck rushes for at least 70 yards. They are 0-2 when they don't. Running on USC isn't an easy thing to do, however. They are 14th in the nation in rush defense, allowing only 90 yards per game. In fact, they have only given up 100 yards rushing to one player this season--Oregon State's Clinton Polk. And, of course, that game just happens to be USC's lone loss.

Teams: Ohio State at Northwestern
Time (TV): 3:30 pm (ABC/GP)
Interest: 5
Cheer For: Ohio State

Well, the Buckeyes learned a lesson last week. We'll see if they apply it to this week. Though it's not like the offense won't be shut down again once a significant lead has been attained. That's fine. But the offensive line and the running backs still need to execute. They will. Chris Wells will get back in the game and he and Antonio Pittman will ice the clock in the second half. It would be nice if Troy Smith put up some numbers, though. Like maybe a 300-yard game? Or five touchdown? Actually, I'll take another game like last week if it gives us a win. I'm not picky. (This week, anyway.)

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